sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
