its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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