you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
