well most of my day revolves around power hour
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
