don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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