I'm jealous of your bromance
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
