It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
