ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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