I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
His nipple licking is glorious
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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