so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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