Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
