When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
