i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
