This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
