Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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