ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
