As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
