i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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