Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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