His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize