Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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