Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
