He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize