One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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