u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can't turn off my feet"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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