make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
