I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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