My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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