i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
