If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
