I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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