Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
