how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
