I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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