We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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