I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?