You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life