i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals