How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
