we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
