You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
