You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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