He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
