I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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