Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I CAN MOONWALK!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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