i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
