i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.