There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for