This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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