my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
