Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
