Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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