I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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