We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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