I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
