good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize