He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
