i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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