Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
