Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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