We're like a lot better than the average bears
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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