we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
