I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
