All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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