Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
be right there i have to get my cape
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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