Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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